Know the signs when it’s time to consider assisted living. Over 16 million people in America commit their unpaid time and energy taking care of a parent or elderly loved one who has dementia, according to the Alzheimer’s Association.
Caregivers sometimes discover themselves unable to take on the burden of offering home health care without having to suffer with illness themselves. It’s when the price of caregiving becomes too high and the moment that it’s time to think about moving a parent or elderly family member into assisted living.
Moving one of your parents (or both) is never a simple decision; however, there are a few telltale indications to watch for which will assist you in recognizing when it is the proper time for assisted living, according to Marriage & Family Clinician and Therapist, Rita Vasquez, M.A.
Those signs are:
Aggression
Violent, sexual, or physical aggression often occur in those who have dementia, and caregivers or additional members of the family might start feeling stressed or resentful. According to Vasquez, she tells people when they are reaching that state, it is time to begin to consider placement.
Caregiver stress
Caregiver symptoms such as an increase in stress may be just as telling an indication as the aforementioned dementia behaviors.
Escalating care needs
Ask of yourself: “Are the individual’s care needs beyond my physical capabilities?” or “Is the health of the individual who has dementia or my health as a caregiver at great risk?” If you are answering yes to these questions, it may be the point to have that difficult family conversation.
Home safety
Consider your elderly family member’s health and your own capabilities to take care of them. Is the individual who has dementia unsafe inside their present household?
Sundowning
“Sundowners syndrome” — extremely agitated behavior which becomes more pronounced later on in the day — is one common trait of the ones who have dementia. Vasquez adds that this may take a heavy toll upon caregivers and at the point that it starts severely disrupting family schedules, it might be an indication that the caregiving burden is too much to take on.
Wandering
Within later phases of dementia, the risk that is posed by wandering becomes a lot greater, adds Vasquez. She says they may wander even if you simply take some time to go to the restroom and the possibility of injuries and falls also increases.
How Can Caregiver Stress Be a Sign of a Need for Help?
The psychological prices of caregiving and of making tough care decisions now are being compared to the impact of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
Caregivers might suffer symptoms such as:
- Intrusive thoughts
- Hyper-vigilance
- Disabling anxiety
- Avoidance behaviors and more
Dr. Vasquez attributes those symptoms not just to the pressures of taking care of someone who has dementia yet additionally to the disruptions to regular sleeping and eating patterns resulting when one spends so much time caregiving. According to the Dr., when your brain is always on alert, several things will happen — you won’t eat well, your nutrition will go down, and your physical health will suffer.
The physical, mental, and emotional toll of caregiving may be especially pronounced for spouses of the ones who require care. Within one of the families that Vasquez works with, the primary caregiver and wife is 80 years of age. She is caring for her 85-year-old spouse and it is draining her. When her husband recently fell, she could not pick him up and called the paramedics. In instances such as that, it may be immediately clear when the demands of caregiving become too great. Within other instances, it may not be so obvious.
Vasquez advises that if you’re feeling isolated or alone, or if you start feeling resentful of your family member, it may be time to assess the source of these feelings.
Sleep deprivation, resentment, anger, all those things become part of what occurs to a caregiver. The guilt, of course, when you think, ‘I am not doing enough.’ Once this happens, it is vital that you recognize how much you have been giving to your family member, and maybe tell yourself, ‘Ok, I am not living a life for myself anymore, I am living for that individual.’
What If My Family Member Requires More Assistance Than I’m Able to Give?
Choosing between in-home care and assisted living is never an easy choice, and caregiver guilt and grief are common responses to moving elderly family members out of their households. As the Dr. puts it, ‘We lose our loved one twice: one time to the disease and once again when they pass away.’
Caregivers might wonder if they should’ve or could’ve done more; they might feel separation anxiety about moving their family member to some other location. If family dynamics are challenging — if, for example, a caregiver who is caring for a parent experienced an unhappy childhood — this might further complicate the decision-making process. That’s why planning beforehand is so critical.
According to Vasquez, if you know your loved ones is in the early phases of illness, the first thing you want to do is get all of your documents together. It is in our culture that we do not want to discuss these things, yet before dementia starts affecting your family member’s cognitive health, it is crucial that you have somebody assist them in collecting the proper documents and make these important decisions, whether it is a physician, friend, or family member. Preparing ahead of time and involving the right people in the decision-making process will eventually assist in easing the process once it is time to move your family member into care.
The best method of being there for them, Vasquez adds, includes knowing that they’re in the right place for getting the care they deserve. Make trips to communities before you choose one and be certain they have medical support and activities suitable to dementia patients. Eventually, she says, try and remember that if you have conducted your research, they will thrive wherever you choose to send them.
Talk to a Senior Living Advisor who is able to help you locate the proper assisted living community for your family member today.
How to Care for a Caregiver
It may be challenging enough as a caregiver to find the time to take care of your elderly family member, let alone yourself — even if your loved one is in residential care. However, remaining healthy is among the best things you may do to offer the support your family member needs.
Arranging a brief stay in respite care includes one method of recuperating, particularly if you’re taking care of somebody at home. Caring for your mental health also is crucial and there are several advantages to seeking a circle of support that can uplift you when times are tough. Therapy, support groups, and counseling all are available to help loved ones undergoing transitions associated with dementia.
Vasquez suggests checking the community that your family member is moving to. She says many care homes provide support groups and additional resources for family members. Those resources may assist you in coming to terms with the concept that occasionally the best choice for the happiness and health of both parties is placing your family member into care.
Vasquez wraps up by saying we have to know that as human beings, we’re only able to do so much without having to tax our health.
Are You Delaying a Move to Assisted Living?
Choosing assisted living isn’t straightforward or easy and there are various reasons why seniors and families might try and avoid talking about this difficult subject.
We surveyed readers so we could pinpoint your family member’s most pressing struggles and the outcome may shock you.
Here are 5 of the most common reasons family members may put off moving to senior living, in conjunction with some potential solutions for handing every obstacle:
“I actually live too far to make a choice.”
Of the survey participants, 12 percent cited geographic distance — residing at a distance or within another state from their family member — as one reason for postponing their family member’s move over to assisted living. Research performed by National Alliance for Caregiving and the AARP discovered similar results. Their studies proved that 15 percent of family caregivers reside one or more hours away from a care recipient. Living a far distance poses additional challenges to the ones looking for assisted living, which adds stress and makes timing and logistics challenging.
Potential Solution: If you’re looking at the probability of managing your family member’s care from a distance, you aren’t alone. To make this process easier, arrange family meetings with additional involved family members to talk about decisions beforehand. Be certain that you organize all of the critical paperwork and documents you may need, in order for everything to be in place in case your family member’s health situation unexpectedly changes. Get help from offline and online resources and referral services to determine what is going to fit your family member’s needs, as well as your family’s budget.
“I must speak to my family members about assisted living care.”
About 22 percent of the ones surveyed stated that they postponed moving to assisted living due to the fact that they had not spoken to friends and family about it first. We might postpone the decision because it’s hard to coordinate with other members of the family, or because we want to speak to trusted or experienced friends before finding out what we should do. Of course, it’s uncomfortable to imagine an aging family member’s declining physical or mental health, making it easy to postpone having those difficult conversations. However, doing nothing might place our family member’s health at higher risk; therefore, it’s vital that you discuss factors like scheduling, logistics, and health before they become actual concerns.
Potential Solutions: First and foremost, be truthful with yourself about your own feelings, as well as why the postponement is happening. Think very realistically about what is going to happen if you actually do nothing about their circumstances versus what might happen if they make the move to assisted living. Do not be afraid to get help from a support group, friend, or counselor, and do not forget to involve your family members when it is time to make a choice — but do not postpone it forever. If it is pre-existing conflicts in the family getting in the way, keep in mind that the focus must be on the welfare of your senior family member and set an excellent example by trying your very best to rise above your sibling rivalries and making certain that everyone’s points of view are heard.
“I need to conduct more research.”
Of the surveyed readers, the greatest quantity (27 percent) stated that their main reason for delaying the move to assisted living was to conduct more research — from contacting communities to driving by a property to browsing websites. Families frequently are concerned with the community’s ratings and about what they provide residents.
Potential Solutions: Conducting your research about assisted living care may seem daunting; however, there are various resources available for families to use in assessing certain communit as well as various kinds of care. The ones concerned about quality of care and ratings should go to sites such as Medicare.gov.
“I am worried about the cost of assisted living.”
With the average monthly expense of assisted living increasing, it isn’t any surprise that sticker shock includes one of the reasons that many seniors and families put off moving to assisted living — 13 percent of the ones surveyed reported high expenses or budget uncertainties as one delaying factor.
Potential Solution: First off, one crucial fact to keep in mind includes checking what’s included in the month-to-month price of assisted living: its sticker price might cover amenities like meals and housekeeping — or it might not. The key is to understand what the prices mean and what you’ll receive for your money; therefore, be certain you conduct your research about every community, consulting with a Senior Living Advisor if you require extra assistance.
While those are not the only reasons family members postpone moving to assisted living, they’re some of the most common ones — yet being prepared, as well as having realistic expectations helps you avoid possible roadblocks.
At Optimum Personal Care, we have a compassionate staff of experienced and dedicated caregivers who are available 24-hours per day to help your elderly family member with the day-to-day tasks they can no longer accomplish on their own. For more information about our Assisted Living, Disability Care, Hospice Care, Respite Care, or Short-Term Memory Loss Care services please feel free to contact Optimum Personal Care in Missouri City, TX or Sugarland, TX at 281.565.4144.